¡gesamtkomödiewerk!

Year: 2011

  • Edinburgh preview on 13th July 2011

    Hello good people, I am doing a preview of my Edinburgh show, Philosophical Investigations, at The Invisible Dot in Camden, London. 13 July 2011 8pm The show is free of cost You can email info@theinvisibledot.com to reserve a seat. Your humble jester, Venue details: www.theinvisibledot.com Show details: www.raphshirley.com/shows/2011/philosophical-investigations/

  • The campaign

    After months of art directors and copywriters, secretaries and assistants, marketing executives and what have you (all of whom played by me) the advertisng campaign is finally here. In the end we decided to skip the TV spots and billboards and go with just flyers and word of mouth in the end. Cheers,

  • A tribute to Bobby Crispy

    Bobby Crispy has a good forename, a great surname, and a better website. Yeah, it is that good. http://bobsguitarlessons.yolasite.com/ contains videos of his free guitar lessons, as well as other cool stuff like sci-fi stories. This guy really knows how to do an excellent website. I can learn a lot from him. You might like […]

  • Philosophical Investigations

    A MESSAGE FROM RAPH Dear friends and/or enemies etc, There is a NEWS FLASH. I am taking a show to Edinburgh. I, as in raphshirley.com live, a.k.a. Raph Shirley. It is called Philosophical Investigations and will be on at Rush bar every day at 3pm, 6-27 August inclusive. Come. There is also a brand new/completely-professional-looking […]

  • D.A.D. X

    Dad And Dangerous. We are all only too familiar with the problem of problem youths being problematic. Well, DAD X couldn’t take it no more. He has therefore gone well and truly berserk. Love from xxx

  • An erotic poem about a Muslim woman

    In her, Shapelessness reached an apogee (A sphere). Black sheets, Slipping off of her revealed form (Sexy!) Ultimately, The Wizard of Oz Woz, Disappointing. I thought killing Ka’b ibn al-Ashraf was a lot worse than the fig tree. But actually he was also trying to kill him so maybe fair enough. #notExpertInIslamicCulture

  • Steiff ‘Catherine’ royal wedding teddy bear

    Please do not order now on 01924 362510 or at www.peterjoneschina.com Ta,

  • CYBORG R.A.T. 9 Gaming Mouse

    Hardcore gamers like myself have long debated that great quandary; is there such a thing as the perfect gaming mouse? Well, I’m sorry to say to the doubters (not mentioning any names SexyPete99) this IS it: Figure 1. The CYBORG R.A.T. 9 Gaming Mouse, £84.99. Taken from benchmarkreviews.com. Whether committing acts of violent murder in […]

  • Stupid nonce

    Swizzled in the swiller, Brushelled with a buzzer, Splish splashelled and bathed, That’s the bloody shower over with! And in a waze he filled his trouser, With fleshy leggo pegs. It took forth owls and still not done, To be ready for the meeting. Ten peeples peeped at powerpeep, And of the frothy thquarters, Superintendent […]

  • The early Shirley (logical foundations of the weblog)

    Life is tough when you’re a white, male, heterosexual, old Etonian like me. My constant struggle against prejudice has, however, yielded philosophical insight. What follows is a translation (from Eton slang) of my [cod] philosophical investigations. Please do not be so intimidated as to think you might not understand this profound exposition of the truth. […]

  • James Bond (asexual gay Lord and master of sexy epigrams)

    This post is dedicated to Sirs Isaac Newton and Bobby Charlton (They don’t make them like they used to). Figure 1. Sir Bobby Charlton, “A Football Man”. Bond had just graduated from Oxford with a massive degree, inferior in magnitude only to his perception of it. The careers office recommended the civil service but little […]

  • The whore of Babylon

    This isn’t a joke. I’m not sure why it’s here really. I also don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. Pretentious? Why blog if not to be self indulgent? Thank you very much,

  • Cloven hoof

    Come on guys, pigs are all right. Always your own most devoted,

  • My brother – review

    Despite some flashes of interest, Raph Shirley is underwhelmed. My brother entered the scene in late 1989 and has been wowing family-occasion-goers ever since. Unfortunately, his performance has become rather stolid of late. Now he’s a sort of lumpen drudging knock off of better brothers such as David Attenborough and Ethan Cohen. In a characteristic […]

  • Understatement

    King James Bible: A coat of many colours. Andrew Lloyd Webber: The amazing technicolor dream coat. Best regards,

  • Raph Shirley (prophet)

    I was walking down the street the other day, and I bumped into this woman (I don’t know if you’ve ever met a woman, they’re basically mad hideous monsters, like men) and she’d got into her head the misguided idea to manufacture a person. Now, if it was me I would probably do this using […]

  • A fair system for toilet use

    My mother, Sharon Shirley, recently made the unreasonable demand that I put the seat down after using the toilet. Here is my response. Allow me to neglect poo-poo for the purposes of a thought experiment. Imagine there are two social groups A and B who require the toilet to be in states A and B […]

  • Made irrelevant

    Dear Mr Shirley, I regret to inform you (yes, I am aware of the absurdity of pre-emptively regretting something I am about to do) that we are unable to offer you a position at this time/ever. Unfortunately, we give preference to applicants who do not do ‘their impressions’ at interview. Furthermore, your recreation of the […]