{"id":1017,"date":"2011-12-23T15:18:56","date_gmt":"2011-12-23T15:18:56","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/?p=1017"},"modified":"2020-11-08T20:40:18","modified_gmt":"2020-11-08T20:40:18","slug":"presentation-to-greenlight","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/2011\/12\/23\/presentation-to-greenlight\/","title":{"rendered":"Presentation to GreenLight"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a little light relief before we get into the blog proper:<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/goanimate.com\/player\/embed\/0MCuwaKASI3A\" width=\"400\" height=\"258\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>One of the great things about being a programmer for one of the largest solar panel manufacturers in the south east is you get to do a lot of travelling. This week, I was going to Newcastle to give a talk on account management systems to GreenLight; a fellow green power company.<\/p>\n<p>I arrived at the Newcastle travelodge around 6pm. I&#8217;d had a tough train journey and fancied a litre or two of strong lager, or as I say &#8216;I&#8217;ll have a lagerita, neither shaken nor stirred&#8217; before explaining exactly what I mean by that. I walk in to town and go the local Wetherspoons (I know!). It was actually, a lovely little place. An old university lecture theatre with a number of interesting pictures on the wall.<\/p>\n<p>By closing time I&#8217;m drunk as a carefree business guru and head back to my temp pad. I&#8217;m singing like a bloomin&#8217; mad man mate! I stumble through the streets filled with those few of years and fewer of clothing (two years blogging for <a href=\"https:\/\/twohourblogger.com\/amazon-fba-ninja-masterclass-review\/\">Two Hour Blogger<\/a> equips one to turn a pretty sweet phrase, often inside of half an hour), but exercise enough restraint not to shout and merely fall over six times. But wait! I&#8217;ve noticed something. Something beautiful! A small entrance in the wall leads to a multicoloured rainbow escalator (not in a gay way (not in a homophobic way (regret nested parentheses))). I climb on and ascend into the antechamber of a shopping centre. Lo, I&#8217;m greeted at the top by a gigantic Christmas tree. It is a great hollow cone of tinsel that you can walk under and look inside.<\/p>\n<p>I go underneath it. I look into the eye of the Christmas tree&#8230; and I pass out.<\/p>\n<p>I woke up at 9am on the floor of the shopping centre. The Christmas tree hanging above me is like a big sick inducing finger down my throat now (again, I think yule agree my extensive blogging experience shows). Shit! 9am! Shit! I have to be at the presentation. I get there and I decide to come clean and tell them the above ;-) I can tell by their feigned embarrassment that they are deeply impressed. It is clear these guys need to be taught a thing or two about partying! And taught\/party hard!<\/p>\n<p>Afterwards, I&#8217;m informed by email that they will not be offering us the contract. In hindsight it was a mistake to tell them I was drunk presenting. I craft a perfectly worded email to me&#8217; boss painting them as a backward company who don&#8217;t understand how powerful the internet is. I mean, that is basics! I add a little joke about me giving them a business 101. I&#8217;m confident I won&#8217;t be fired and at most will receive a harsh telling off. Nothing that my rearrangement of the secret Santa and purchase of a hilarious card for my boss, which makes a cheeky accusation of infidelity at his wife (hinging around a Christmas based demi-pun), can&#8217;t solve.<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"border: none;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/images\/signature.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"195\" height=\"123\" border=\"0px\"><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Here&#8217;s a little light relief before we get into the blog proper: One of the great things about being a programmer for one of the largest solar panel manufacturers in the south east is you get to do a lot &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/2011\/12\/23\/presentation-to-greenlight\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[4,9],"tags":[19,40],"class_list":["post-1017","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-other-stuffs-sic","category-video","tag-satire","tag-short-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1017","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1017"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1017\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1017"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1017"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1017"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}