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<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"The old bastard really knew how to walk into a sweet shop like a bastard. The misery guts walked in and said ‘I want the lot’. The owner, despite this becoming the best day of business in his life, was upset by this. <\/p>\n
This misanthropic horror requested that all the sweets be put in a big pile in the middle of the street outside the shop. When they were all there he covered them in petrol and burnt every one of them. Then a little mouse who had been on his way to the sweet shop peeped out of the drain and saw this sick scene.<\/p>\n
The mouse wept.<\/p>\n
He went back and told his friends who conspired to seek revenge. They all stood on each others shoulders and got a nice Burberry mac to hide under. They walked up to the nasty old man and said:<\/p>\n
“Listen you old bastard. We hate you. You have no sense of joy. You go around ruining fun for everyone and we are going to get you.”<\/p>\n
Then the man looked up and saw a group of mice who had been collecting the molten candy that had dripped off from the fire. They had it in a massive bucket and dropped it all over his head. The man began to writhe and swear like an old bastard and the mice laughed at the horrible scene.<\/p>\n
When the candy had solidified he himself had become a permanent and disfigured sweet. The mice were able to lick him a few times a day for a few months until his flesh started to rot and they had to throw him in a river.<\/p>\n
Thanks for reading,<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
The old bastard really knew how to walk into a sweet shop like a bastard. The misery guts walked in and said ‘I want the lot’. The owner, despite this becoming the best day of business in his life, was … Continue reading