{"id":1560,"date":"2012-11-09T16:30:34","date_gmt":"2012-11-09T16:30:34","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/?p=1560"},"modified":"2012-11-09T16:32:18","modified_gmt":"2012-11-09T16:32:18","slug":"a-portrait-of-a-provincial-dickhead","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/2012\/11\/09\/a-portrait-of-a-provincial-dickhead\/","title":{"rendered":"A portrait of a provincial dickhead"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>Walking down Hemel Hempstead high street in the half light of an autumn evening, the industrial estates rising upward against a violet-blue sky, is a pleasure unparallelled. Sexual ecstacy, the embrace of a fat woman, intellectual breakthrough, and moments of realisation and creativity are but hundreds and thousands to the Walls Cream of Cornish ice cream of sittin&#8217; in Has Beans coffee shop with a coffee and two scoops of the aforementioned. x<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/4xF6i-c6D5Q?rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>The hotel where I lost my virginity.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lh6.googleusercontent.com\/-3o19vrs-fjk\/UHR2lDOdQHI\/AAAAAAAAJq8\/R3KewjrEsU8\/s800\/APPD2.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"100%\" \/><\/p>\n<p>A bottle of JD mate.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lh4.googleusercontent.com\/-nRPQK2Szt7c\/UJxR4LzPv4I\/AAAAAAAAKdg\/oY4UhwpGLHU\/s800\/HH.jpg\" width=\"100%\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Just off Leighton Buzzard Road is where I go hunting on a Sunday.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lh6.googleusercontent.com\/-p11-bOVIRkQ\/UHR2lf404aI\/AAAAAAAAJq8\/RYned3OpU5o\/s800\/APPD3.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"100%\" \/><\/p>\n<p>the hum of a distant city<br \/>\norange through leafless trees<br \/>\nlooks like an eyelash<\/p>\n<p><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"http:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/HbJIgcGyp3M?rel=0\" frameborder=\"0\" width=\"560\" height=\"315\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p>The gutter I vomit in.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lh4.googleusercontent.com\/-JewkcQU_Oqk\/UHR2p8lIhSI\/AAAAAAAAJq8\/mLhc4qdPHV4\/s800\/APPD4.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"100%\" \/><\/p>\n<p>&#8211; Oh yeah which way did you go? <\/p>\n<p>&#8211; M25 at that hour?! Oh no, not a good idea mate.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"https:\/\/lh3.googleusercontent.com\/-GCgA0zu3Nh4\/UHR2p6KvSUI\/AAAAAAAAJq8\/LWy_UjBgFSY\/s800\/APPD1.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"100%\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Nice one mate,<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" style=\"border: none;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/images\/signature.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"195\" height=\"123\" border=\"0px\" \/><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Walking down Hemel Hempstead high street in the half light of an autumn evening, the industrial estates rising upward against a violet-blue sky, is a pleasure unparallelled. Sexual ecstacy, the embrace of a fat woman, intellectual breakthrough, and moments of &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/2012\/11\/09\/a-portrait-of-a-provincial-dickhead\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9],"tags":[156,155,158,40],"class_list":["post-1560","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-video","tag-digital-fiction","tag-mixed-media","tag-pretension","tag-short-story"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1560","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1560"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1560\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1560"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1560"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1560"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}