{"id":1874,"date":"2014-03-17T20:08:31","date_gmt":"2014-03-17T20:08:31","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/?p=1874"},"modified":"2014-03-17T20:08:31","modified_gmt":"2014-03-17T20:08:31","slug":"a-chance-meeting-in-the-house-of-commons-canteen","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/2014\/03\/17\/a-chance-meeting-in-the-house-of-commons-canteen\/","title":{"rendered":"A chance meeting in the House of Commons canteen"},"content":{"rendered":"

Gordon Brown is fumbling with the coffee machine. He stops and stares at the accent in Nescafé for quite literally one minute.<\/p>\n

– Sorry can I get to the machine says David Cameron.<\/p>\n

– Oh, yeah. Oh, how’s it going?<\/p>\n

– Oh hi, yeah great thanks. How are you?<\/p>\n

There is a pause.<\/em><\/p>\n

– Really great says Gordon Brown. Busy. What are you up to at the moment?<\/p>\n

– I’m Prime Minister, David says quickly and matter of factly.<\/p>\n

– Oh of course. How is that? We must meet up some time, I’ll give you my notes cos it really is silly to go through all the you know stuff a second time.<\/p>\n

– Yeah, says David Cameron. Gordon Brown seems unconvinced. <\/p>\n

David suddenly notices William Hague and George Osborne sitting at a table across the canteen. They are clearly laughing and miming miniature violins. David can feel giggles swelling from deep inside him like a force of pleasure they rise to his face and push against his cheeks turning them a deep purple. Gordon Brown is furiously pressing a picture of a coffee on the machine. David Cameron reaches over and presses the button marked Cappuccino. The machine makes a sound like steam coming out of ears and Gordon Brown says:<\/p>\n

– I wanted a hot chocolate. <\/p>\n

Your humble servant,<\/p>\n

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Gordon Brown is fumbling with the coffee machine. He stops and stares at the accent in Nescafé for quite literally one minute. – Sorry can I get to the machine says David Cameron. – Oh, yeah. Oh, how’s it going? … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[10],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1874","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-searing-political-satire"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1874","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1874"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1874\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1874"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1874"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.raphshirley.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1874"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}