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Living in a caravan. Masturbate in the morning. There is a cow at the window watching me. This put me off. It had a big brown eye watching me wank. Now the day is off kilter so I run out the door bare shouting at the said cow.


I denounce feminism and all her evils.


Wandering down the country lane elliptical. A battalion of wheelie bins come over the top at me declaring. I have weapons. Shotgun and stick and take on the wheelie bins. Neighbours scream and shout. ‘What have you done to my bin?’


A sea of strewn enemies. Their innards (old food packaging etc) flowing out. Sheer sublimated libidinal energy. Such waste. Council replaced bins efficiently.


Amazon because it had the A to Z design possibility and the scale of flowing out. What is the sea?


Looking out the back window of a bus at my conquest satisfying but guilt. sHello sdarkness smy sold sfriend.


I watched as the finest vets of my generation grabbed a cow by the pussy and pondered Benjamin’s immortal inspirational quote ‘behind every fascism there is a failed revolution’ because ‘behind every great man is a great woman’. Was the obvious parallel lost on you?


A threat hanging in the air with menace.


Recreational agriculture.


How many moves ahead can you think in chess or politics? I can think between zero and one moves ahead. Did not see that one coming.


We never believed they would hire the better creatives.


The psychometric covariance matrix.


Windows 95.

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A Portrait of a Provincial Nobody

    Words and pictures from Raph Shirley, in humorous weblog form.

    Infecting the internet like so many glimmering tentacles
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    He is a fictional character.

    Buy the book!