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Author Archives: Raph Shirley

Two videos

The Constellations

5g

The Sigillum Dei Aemeth; the occult and the genital unified

Messay, /’mɛseɪ/, 1) noun, A short piece of writing which engages with the aesthetic of formal argument rather than the validity, 2) verb, to try to clean one’s mind by shitting out its thoughts. After the thoughts have been shat what remains in the mind might be without the dirt that has been wiped on […]

Three videos (one removed)

Free English Lessons for beginners. Lesson 1: advanced concepts: the word leaf.

Lizzo – Exactly How I Feel feat. Gucci Mane (Raph Shirley fan dance)

Billie Eilish – you should see me in a crown (Raph Shirley fan dance)

Extreme Workout Video

Cake

The Life Cycle of the Hypercunt Johnsinimus

In which I describe the reproductive process of the sub-species Hypercunt Johnsinimus. I claim that the importance of a truth can be gauged by the degree to which, on first intellectual contact, it inspires repulsion. As the seed is planted in your heart it stings and burns and only with time and much dialectical angst […]

Three new videos

1: 2: 3:

One hundred proofs that Bielefeld does not exist

being one hundred proofs that Bielefeld does not exist. 1 Bielefeld is the most populous city in the Regierungsbezirk Detmold, with a population of 341,730. If this was true then no one could either leave or arrive since the population would no longer be 341,730. It follows that there is no Bielefeld. 2 The historical […]

Living in the land of opposites

In which women have too many positive role models; and are only permitted to exist in positions of authority be being judges, teachers, doctors, and CEOs.  The object and its opposite living in a whole. Or three objects describing the famous Borromean knot. The exclusions sustaining the explicit contradictions. And all this embodied in the […]

The event

The circumstances of the event are very much specific to the event. That is why when speaking of it we must be exceptionally careful to be specific about what we mean by the causes and learn from them. LUV xoxo

internet or not internet

inertia

0 Living in a caravan. Masturbate in the morning. There is a cow at the window watching me. This put me off. It had a big brown eye watching me wank. Now the day is off kilter so I run out the door bare shouting at the said cow. 1 I denounce feminism and all […]

Summary of the year two thousand and sixteen

We the hyperboreans! We the followers of David Icke. I can begin with the summary that 2016 was all about architecture. When Russian agents created the European parliament they employed a man who had dedicated his life to helping insomniacs. He did this by designing an unnational parliament that was so boring to watch that […]

Buzzard

London Tourism Guide for Foreign Tourists to London on “Vacation”

Welcome,

A Portrait of a Provincial Nobody

    Words and pictures from Raph Shirley, in humorous weblog form.

    Infecting the internet like so many glimmering tentacles
    ( ).

    He is a fictional character.

    Buy the book!