If and only if logical arguments are un-logical then and only then I shall here present a short discussion rejecting out right the application of logic in matters of the un-heart. First, consider the kitchen. When one makes toast does not one first think I shall not make toast but instead shall enjoy some good humour and just make some toast, whiching I might describe as ratherable to seeing a ghost? No. Unbuttering done I walk through to my husband whom I love and say ‘if love means affection from the heart and not the mind then if I am in love with you (since it would be logical to kiss you and cuddle you) then in true unlogical fashion would I be better off pouring a bucket of cold water over your head? However, if it is unlogical to do such a thing and since love and cuddles are built on unlogical then might the ununlogical response be instead to kiss and cuddle’. It is jokes like this that keep me and my husband warm while we throw faeces at an image of Milliband on a white horse of logic and howlier than how?

Starting again from the first word in the sentence and building not sensibly from the unlogic in good humour. My kitchen is warm and nice. Now that is what I call entertaining. So Gove comes in and he’s like ‘I decided to crash my car because I didn’t want to’ and to do otherwise intentionally would be logical my dear Watson. That’s logic. Il logicarium in faeces. Yesn’t? Gove is wearing his nakedness to work and his suit to bed because he is an unholy sinner just the way I (don’t) like ’em. Stupid clever idiots on telly say no to my non’t if and only if it is.

And beginning at the beginning with the sage and necessary proposition on which to build the lovegument. Let me introduce the figure Gove. Glowing. Resplendent. Inswarzenegger untemperate. Blowing forth in cruel lowlier then Mao under siege in ancient anti-logics. Swearing in black hell of born under chaos in the kitchen of sewers and the sewer of kitchens in popular culture form and looking through the glass.