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Category Archives: art

hAppy ValiNtines Day***

PLUS SONG TA GO WIV EAT IT UP MUTHER #### ESSENTIAL READING: ZizekPussyRiotLetters

Larry the lobster

A story for children and the young at heart.* I’m Larry, and I’m just like any other lobster. I totally swoon if the water temperature is jus’ right baby! Oh yeah, I’m as much a blue blooded lobster as the next lobster. Every time I see another lobster I imagine a whole swathe of obscene […]

Artificial rant number 154

Figure 1: Self portrait. Unification is the aim of science. In this weblog, I shall unify a number of troubling matters into a single problem. Why is child sexuality so terrifying to us? Why does female face covering offend us so much? Why is adolescence so upsetting? Should we hate our parents? Why are social […]

Miss Thomas

The clearest way to describe Claire Thomas is to say she is fat. It isn’t genetic or due to some other ‘modern BS’. It is because she frequently scoffs. She scoffs indiscriminately. Domino’s Two For Tuesdays by the two, eggs by the eight, and milkshake. She loves food like an English teacher (which she is) […]

Man dog VI

Stolen from Joshu’s dog. I plooped the man’s legs up!

Merry Christmas…

… you filthy animal. 1) The past as at 1AD Largely a plagiary of Grey’s. 2) The present as at 1AD Largely a plagiary of de Zurbaran. 3) The future as at 1AD Largely a plagiary of Velazquez. No, but seriously, I wish you all well. Love to all my fellow world citizens, xxx

Book on sale now!

“Thanks to the vulgar extravagances of our times it is now possible for anybody to publish a zero quality book without the hassle of having to make any effort into making it good.” – Raph Shirley, in previous blog post. All for the great price of just 14.99! Remember – buy 25 and get a […]

Why I Blog

Exclusive reader offer! Download your free pirate copy of Jessie J’s Absurdist Price Tag pop song here now! Right click. Save as. It’s what she would have wanted. Was that joke worth 99p considering that it is eight months and two days past its sell by date? And now to a discussion of the important […]

SIMPLY OUTRAGEOUS

Oh my gosh, this is simply outrageous! This image is best enjoyed to the sound of fart noises. Please enjoy this image you stupid asshole,

Doubting Thomas

The first conspiracy theorist. Cheers,

The Mona Lisa

The Mona Lisa is the best painting in the world. And a great improvement on the earlier pornographic version. It was done by the best painter in the world (Leonardo da Vinci) and the title was written by the best writer in the world (William Shakespeare). And it has been seen by the best people […]

A Portrait of a Provincial Nobody

    Words and pictures from Raph Shirley, in humorous weblog form.

    Infecting the internet like so many glimmering tentacles
    ( ).

    He is a fictional character.

    Buy the book!