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Summary of the year two thousand and sixteen

We the hyperboreans! We the followers of David Icke. I can begin with the summary that 2016 was all about architecture. When Russian agents created the European parliament they employed a man who had dedicated his life to helping insomniacs. He did this by designing an unnational parliament that was so boring to watch that […]

Why I am a terrorist sympathiser

I am a terrorist sympathiser because I don’t sympathise with terrorists. I woke up yesterday morning to find my prime minister, an elected MP whose job is to defend my interests, had privately but in effect publicly described me as a terrorist sypathiser. I am a hard-core Dawkinsian athiest. I am not only anti-Islamist like […]

#JeSuisEd

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The continuing adventures of Jackie Smith

Just because you’re no longer MP for Redditch doesn’t mean you still don’t care about issues. On the contrary, you live an exciting life of stuff that happens to you and others. See you round, XOXO

US enters new era of post election US

Something very remarkable happened to me last Saturday. I was going about my business like any Saturday. Except it wasn’t Saturday and it wasn’t happening to me but the USA. It was 2008 and they’d just elected their first Hawaiian president. You may have heard of him. A man called… Barack was it? No. Because […]

A proposal concerning a change of use for Buckingham Palace

Due to a freedom of information request I have come into possession of this letter from government records. It seems to be a memo from George Osborne to David Cameron. I decided to risk libel action for publishing it, for ethical/heroic reasons. To The Rt Hon David Cameron MP Prime Minister, As you know, the […]

Stefan Graves rambles incoherently

Stefan looked at a picture of Ed Milliband and Ed Balls queing to buy a Cornish Pasty and forced his mind to yield to his instruction that it was an image of two men at ease in their natural environment. Despite being of a socio-economic group that traditionally consumed healthy quantities of said snack (fifth […]

I’ve done a poo and it’s really important

I’ve done a poo and it’s really important. I did a poo and it was really important,

Possible solutions to the global energy problem

It is a little known fact that over 99.999% of the world’s energy is currently consumed by other people. It is also true that over half of all other people are in an other country. That’s why I’m arguing that we need to expend a lot more effort reducing other countries’ energy demands and less […]

Steiff ‘Catherine’ royal wedding teddy bear

Please do not order now on 01924 362510 or at www.peterjoneschina.com Ta,

A fair system for toilet use

My mother, Sharon Shirley, recently made the unreasonable demand that I put the seat down after using the toilet. Here is my response. Allow me to neglect poo-poo for the purposes of a thought experiment. Imagine there are two social groups A and B who require the toilet to be in states A and B […]

Is it possible…

… to be into politics and talk about it without being a total dick? No. Probably not. But that’s not what I’m talking about today. Today, as you probably know, there is a waning gibbous moon. But that’s not what I’m talking about today (when it’s in a waning gibbous phase, the moon rises some […]

Internet satirists create hoax news story

Students yesterday produced a fake news item about the recent burqa banning debacle. The twenty year old at the centre of the shocking parody seemed to be showing a gross lack of respect for all parties concerned. News of the blog post went straight to the PM and reverberations have since been felt in the […]

Bhagavad Gita

He might just be a clever guy who has worked hard and done well. But he might just be the evil master of things. You decide,

Church synod allows Jewish bishops

The Church of England’s ruling synod has decided that all bishops must be at least 20% Jew, but there are further steps to take before they can be ordained. Despite criticisms that this was ‘almost as stupid as Christianity itself’ mad churchey types everywhere agreed that the current system was anti-Semitic. Rowan Williams remarked ‘if […]

The Labour leadership

Hello Labourites, It has been well documented of late that Labour did not win the last election. The Labour Party (oxymoron), is now looking for a new leader. I shall be giving a low down on those seeking to lead. David Milliband This man is actually a slug moulded into the shape of a man […]

Brown

Gordon Brown you beautiful man. Oh, I love you yes. But we scorned you so. Now I want you back. You darling. My darling. Brown darling. I want your sex. And your politics too. Oh you. Brown you. Wasn’t he a sweety,

George

George Osborne may be a nice guy under it all. Have a good weekend,

They’re people too you know

A satirical, topical, political sweep at Mr Gordon Brown, Mr David Cameron, and Mr George Osborne.

A Portrait of a Provincial Nobody

    Words and pictures from Raph Shirley, in humorous weblog form.

    Infecting the internet like so many glimmering tentacles
    ( ).

    He is a fictional character.

    Buy the book!