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Grand designs

Dear Grand Designs team,

I have designed what I believe to be the perfect house. As you are no doubt aware, this is a significant and historical turning point and I am sure you will be keen to check over the blueprints (above). Please call me ASAP RE getting this show on the road.

Also, I request that you destroy Kevin McCloud. He is not appropriate for this project.

I await,

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A Portrait of a Provincial Nobody

    Words and pictures from Raph Shirley, in humorous weblog form.

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