… you filthy animal.
Largely a plagiary of Grey’s.
Largely a plagiary of de Zurbaran.
Largely a plagiary of Velazquez.
No, but seriously, I wish you all well.
Love to all my fellow world citizens,
xxx
Galileo
The earth moves.
Vatican
Say that again and we’ll kill you.
Galileo
Did I say it does move? I meant it doesn’t. Where do I sign?
Socrates took the hemlock, Jesus bore the cross, and Galileo did a runner.
I would have stood up for my beliefs like I do with this web log every week,
in the mind of the blogger with blogger for comparison.
Your modest and impressively self-aware friend,
In which I set forth the vulgar behaviour of the garden rose and ask that we reconsider our love affair with it lest we be dragged into the filth along with.
One doesn’t need to invent devils to witness the true horror of the world. One need only look in the garden to see the murder and chaos. The bleak terror of the roses’ perverse interspecies sex acts. The red light to young insect. The invitation to oblivion. And mine own heart is drawn by the flower whores. I have taken from the cup of nature and had my soul torn.
And it is science that has revealed these nightmares of the universe. The harlots! The mistresses of thorn, seducers of bee, and ruin of man. Off with her dead head!
Your humble advisor,
Thanks ever so much and sorry very much too,
Oh my gosh, this is simply outrageous!
This image is best enjoyed to the sound of ***.
Please enjoy this image ***,
Dad And Dangerous. We are all only too familiar with the problem of problem youths being problematic. Well, DAD X couldn’t take it no more. He has therefore gone well and truly berserk.
Love from
xxx
Please do not order now on 01924 362510 or at www.peterjoneschina.com
Ta,
This isn’t a joke. I’m not sure why it’s here really. I also don’t know what the hell I’m talking about. Pretentious?
Why blog if not to be self indulgent?
Thank you very much,
Come on guys, pigs are all right.
Always your own most devoted,
To be fair, why was it your friend in the first place?
TB or not TB, that is the question facing agricultural ministers.
Cheers,
The first conspiracy theorist.
Cheers,
Sorry this was a bit slow off the press. I keep meaning to get round to doing one about the wedding of Egbert and Redburga.
Good bye,
We’ve all been there.
Cheers,
Cheers,
Transcript:
Things have quietened down a little since Finchy passed. Oh, we still like a joke or two. I sometimes tease Stifler about his mom being a ‘DGGILTK’. That’s a Dead Great Grandmother I’d Like To Kiss. I changed the last word because we’re too old for all that nonsense now and I added the ‘To’ to the acronym because it really bothers me when people leave out those words in order to make an acronym more snappy. Of course it goes straight over Stifler’s head because he is in the advanced stages of Altziemer’s.
All the best,
Cheers,
A rollicking rampage of octogenarian revenge, torn flesh, and laser canons.
My grandmother was chopping carrots when it happened. By ‘it’ I of course mean the laser razor ray slicing though the ceiling and into her brain. Oh yes, after that things between me and gran started to get a little, how shall we say… absolute terror shock of murder violence, not to put too fine a point on it. She instantly threw the knife she was holding. It went through the right arm of my Gap t shirt and pinned me to her terrible antique screen. I could see carrot juice still wet on the blade and regretted wearing such a bad t shirt for this unexpectedly exciting scene.
Her campaign of violent retribution has begun. One by one she is out to get each of her grandchildren. Only I can stop her.
Best regards,
His owner just gets him down sometimes. He just wishes he could talk to someone on the same level for once.