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Tag Archives: satire

The event

The circumstances of the event are very much specific to the event. That is why when speaking of it we must be exceptionally careful to be specific about what we mean by the causes and learn from them. LUV xoxo

Je suis Charlie

Je suis Charlie #JeSuisCharlie

Official Promo’ Vid’ Advert for Raph Shirley’s YouTube Channel on YouTube now!

Humbly yours,

The continuing adventures of Jackie Smith

Just because you’re no longer MP for Redditch doesn’t mean you still don’t care about issues. On the contrary, you live an exciting life of stuff that happens to you and others. See you round, XOXO

Ahmad Lotfi Ashtiani launches internet cartoon competition

Emergency extra blog post. I just read this in the Guardian. Iranian MP, Ahmad Lotfi Ashtiani, took offence to a cartoon by Mahmoud Shokraye. The cartoonist was then sentenced to 25 lashes for the crime. Ashtiani has therefore, in playing with the serpents tail, effectively challenged the global internet to produce as foul a portrait […]

A proposal concerning a change of use for Buckingham Palace

Due to a freedom of information request I have come into possession of this letter from government records. It seems to be a memo from George Osborne to David Cameron. I decided to risk libel action for publishing it, for ethical/heroic reasons. To The Rt Hon David Cameron MP Prime Minister, As you know, the […]

The remarkable achievements attained in the field of neuroscience

The current state of the art is described and critiqued. Avenues for further work are set forth and discussed. A prediction is made. Using only one single five million dollar functional magnetic resonance imaging machine, Professor Veronica Smith produces a picture of my brain. Over coffee she talks me through the picture and explains her […]

Presentation to GreenLight

Here’s a little light relief before we get into the blog proper: One of the great things about being a programmer for one of the largest solar panel manufacturers in the south east is you get to do a lot of travelling. This week, I was going to Newcastle to give a talk on account […]

Galileo you absolute wuss!

Galileo The earth moves. Vatican Say that again and we’ll kill you. Galileo Did I say it does move? I meant it doesn’t. Where do I sign? Socrates took the hemlock, Jesus bore the cross, and Galileo did a runner. I would have stood up for my beliefs like I do with this web log […]

Terminator X: Abomination

One of the major advantages of running your own zine is that you get to work with some great geeks. One day while I was hangin’ out in Forbidden Planet I was recognised (eugghh) by a fellow weblogger. He knew all too well the ongoing battle between me and SexyPete99. Don’t worry, he’s on our […]

The disgusting nature and exploits of the rose

In which I set forth the vulgar behaviour of the garden rose and ask that we reconsider our love affair with it lest we be dragged into the filth along with. One doesn’t need to invent devils to witness the true horror of the world. One need only look in the garden to see the […]

The twentieth century: a pantomime

I have just been commissioned by Surrey County Council to write the 2011 Guildford pantomime. I have decided to write a light hearted look at the twentieth century. There will be one minute for every year. The characters: The dame – capitalism The villain – totalitarianism The hero – democracy The love interest – socialism Plot summary: […]

SIMPLY OUTRAGEOUS

Oh my gosh, this is simply outrageous! This image is best enjoyed to the sound of fart noises. Please enjoy this image you stupid asshole,

It said yes!

Your presence will never be associated with honour. Our gift list is available at Game. We also accept cash or cheque. Cheers,

D.A.D. X

Dad And Dangerous. We are all only too familiar with the problem of problem youths being problematic. Well, DAD X couldn’t take it no more. He has therefore gone well and truly berserk. Love from xxx

Steiff ‘Catherine’ royal wedding teddy bear

Please do not order now on 01924 362510 or at www.peterjoneschina.com Ta,

CYBORG R.A.T. 9 Gaming Mouse

Hardcore gamers like myself have long debated that great quandary; is there such a thing as the perfect gaming mouse? Well, I’m sorry to say to the doubters (not mentioning any names SexyPete99) this IS it: Figure 1. The CYBORG R.A.T. 9 Gaming Mouse, £84.99. Taken from benchmarkreviews.com. Whether committing acts of violent murder in […]

Made irrelevant

Dear Mr Shirley, I regret to inform you (yes, I am aware of the absurdity of pre-emptively regretting something I am about to do) that we are unable to offer you a position at this time/ever. Unfortunately, we give preference to applicants who do not do ‘their impressions’ at interview. Furthermore, your recreation of the […]

Embarrassing man makes ok point in argument

A deeply embarrassing man yesterday punched above his weight and made a number of insightful remarks in a conversation with friends. His long suffering buddies all commented on the unfortunate absence of people to impress when the socially awkward city worker wittily responded to comments made in an article in the Metro newspaper. ‘The article […]

Sabotage

A Portrait of a Provincial Nobody

    Words and pictures from Raph Shirley, in humorous weblog form.

    Infecting the internet like so many glimmering tentacles
    ( ).

    He is a fictional character.

    Buy the book!