¡gesamtkomödiewerk!

¡gesamtkomödiewerk!

  • Man dog IV

    Cheers,

  • Killer gran hell

    A rollicking rampage of octogenarian revenge, torn flesh, and laser canons. My grandmother was chopping carrots when it happened. By ‘it’ I of course mean the laser razor ray slicing though the ceiling and into her brain. Oh yes, after that things between me and gran started to get a little, how shall we say… […]

  • Eating alone

    I love eating alone, but I hate being caught. The reversal of esteem when going from gorging on burgers at a bus stop to being joined by a waiting passenger is second in magnitude only to that associated with orgasm. Culinary onanism is a great joy, as intense as the sexual kind, but attached with […]

  • Stephen Hawking: prick or dick?

    In which I offer a considered reaction to The Grand Design, the latest publication of Prof Stephen Hawking. “We each exist for but a short time…” That ‘but’ along with the other words in the book’s first sentence ensure that by the end of it you already have more than a little stomach acid at […]

  • The Mona Lisa

    The Mona Lisa is the best painting in the world. And a great improvement on the earlier pornographic version. It was done by the best painter in the world (Leonardo da Vinci) and the title was written by the best writer in the world (William Shakespeare). And it has been seen by the best people […]

  • The banana

    The banana in its sluttish yellow overcoat eyed me from across the hall. The way it draped its slender ripe figure provocatively across that pawn of an apple. The way it affectedly brushed past the orange. Oh that banana had it coming, and don’t let no one tell you different. I pretended I hadn’t noticed. […]

  • Creation

    One It was morning time and I needed a shower bad. I realised that I couldn’t remember why I was dirty. Then God rudely came in my bedroom without asking and presented the most splendid tart. There were a load of weird animals like half-zebra/half-worms around. One of them came over to be stroked. Then […]

  • Dance

    To some people dancing comes naturally. To me it comes supernaturally. That’s right, fasten your seat belts because this post is about to take a nose dive directly to a more academic style of prose. “I would believe only in a God that knows how to dance.” – Friedrich Nietzsche1 Dancing is typically thought of […]

  • Is it possible…

    … to be into politics and talk about it without being a total dick? No. Probably not. But that’s not what I’m talking about today. Today, as you probably know, there is a waning gibbous moon. But that’s not what I’m talking about today (when it’s in a waning gibbous phase, the moon rises some […]

  • 2000, a great vintage

    Vague memories of literal and metaphorical squibs. But there are other relics of the millennium and today I will be talking, mostly, about websites. If websites were rated according to their proper metric, that is, by number of fonts used per page, then my first foray into the internet would surely be the winner1. www.raphman.20m.com […]

  • Embarrassing man makes ok point in argument

    A deeply embarrassing man yesterday punched above his weight and made a number of insightful remarks in a conversation with friends. His long suffering buddies all commented on the unfortunate absence of people to impress when the socially awkward city worker wittily responded to comments made in an article in the Metro newspaper. ‘The article […]

  • America

    America. Land of the free. But are they really free with their little lives, and is it a land at all? America was founded in 1471 by Columbus. Sorry, I mean ‘found’ don’t I. It is basically the best country in the world but sort of not that great given the generally poor build quality […]

  • How to get from where you don’t want to be to where you do want

    I can help you. And by you I mean me (to help you). Hello. Breathe. And breathe good. For you are on your way to a happier you. Go on say it! ‘ME!’. First off, the work place. You know when you just feel like your boss sucks? You just want to run outside and […]

  • Psychoanalysis

  • Man Dog III

    His owner just gets him down sometimes. He just wishes he could talk to someone on the same level for once.

  • Sabotage

  • Story time 3

    There is one thing that can be derived from first principles and that is that Squibble Bobble, the peculiar little alien, likes grub. He went in to the nearest grub shop which in this instance was a bakery. Gregg’s bakery. “Hello”. “What’s going on, who said that?”. Squibble Bobble is just two inches small and […]

  • Story time 2

    Squibble Bobble is a strange little alien. He struggles to make friends and is a little simple alien. He walked up to an old man and gave him a buttercup. “What is that strange little alien doing giving me a buttercup”. That was a pretty standard response to be fair and truthful, and very common […]

  • More man more dog

  • Story time

    “Mister” said a little alien. A simple little alien called squibble bobble. “who is it?”. “It’s squibble bobble mister”. “What want?”. “Grub”. He threw a mouldy old banana out the window for the simple little alien. Squibble bobble gobbled it and hiccuped. “Thanks mister” said squibble bobble who threw the banana skin back through the […]

“Third hand regurgitated Frankfurt School analysis through the lens of misunderstanding. Views not my own. All retweets ironic.”

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